Why do I allow people's misconstrued ideas and judgments to affect me? I don't really mean strangers, either. When I was younger, people formed opinions about me that were often not accurate. I've dealt with this again in my life very recently. I guess that when I let people in and they make judgments then I feel violated in some way. It's worse now because I have a little one and may let people have access to her, and then I have to explain to her that someone won't be around anymore. It's difficult for her to understand as well.
Rob and I deal with being the oddballs, but sometimes I do wish that we could connect more genuinely with others. We don't "belong" anywhere when "belonging" means prescribing to a set of rules and expectations in a rather high school cliquish way. People tend to not know how or where to place us, so they judge. I find it incredibly shocking and a bit unsettling that so many people just play certain tapes (as Rob would say) and never bother to truly think about their actions or words. I am even more amazed by how many people seem to stay stuck in a high school mentality of judgment and labels and truly believe they may be summed up by a bumper sticker or television show or mainstream radio song or Facebook quiz.
While I know that people make decisions and behave as they chose, I still feel a sense of loss even though I realize that it really, truly isn't me. It's them. I feel a loss for humanity as I watch people refuse to think and instead chose to do what is easy and feels good. Yet, I am no misogynist so I can't just kick them all aside as many of them do to me and my family.
I'm rather ready to focus on my obligations and create instead of attempting to socialize and understand. I think that I was happier and more at peace then.
I just chalk it up to "People are stupid." (o=
ReplyDeleteI have the suspicion that there is always more to a person than I will know. Perhaps they have thick walls that appear to others as ignorance. Most of it is probably self-preservation.
ReplyDeleteRight. I have to remind myself to not take it personally, but it's always hard when it feels so personal. Since I wrote that entry, I've become a bit more balanced. I haven't been trying to cultivate that, either. It's just happening.
ReplyDeleteWow, this post invokes a lot of thoughts in me. Firstly is that, no, according to our friend Miguel Ruiz (author of "The Four Agreements") you absolutely CANNOT take anything personally. Because the way another person behaves toward you is ALWAYS about them, and ALWAYS a result of the choices that they make. Be impeccable with your word, Dana, and you simply cannot go wrong. Ever...
ReplyDeleteBut the other thing I want to say - and this has nothing spefically to do with the post - is that even though I don't know him well, and have never met him in person, I think an awful lot of Rob. He seems to have an innate comprehension of what's really imnportant, and I admire him for that. And being that he chose you, you clearly must "get it" too. I know that I will come to know this first-hand in good time.
Cheers to you both, and to Elyssa, too(I know I probably spelled her name wrong again - sorry).
Keep the balance....
You and yourfam are good people. I wouldn't change anything about you. For realz
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